My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
