Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
