Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
