are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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