There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
