I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
im on a boat
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