I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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