Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
50% drunk capacity currently
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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