its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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