he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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