So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize