Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
