I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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