playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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