Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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