I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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