They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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