...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
babies were throwing up all over the place
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
