Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
