Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
