All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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