the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
