He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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