DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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