2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He kissed a someone with a penis
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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