and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
