there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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