I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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