Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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