I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
