one two three fourrrrnication!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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