you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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