i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
