someone owes me an orgasm
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I lost the right to judge tonight
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
