i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
