I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
