Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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