he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
