I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
