We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize