how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
