i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize