My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
