Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
