your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
