I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
