Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
