Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
