just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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