My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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