...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
