haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
