We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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