There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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