That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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