if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize