mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
PANTIES FOUND
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