redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize