I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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