Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
