meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
